The Top 7 Wedding Do’s and Don’ts
The Top 7 Wedding Dont’s
Let’s start with the Wedding Don’ts as these are important. Many couples fall over at the first hurdle and end up offending someone. These tips should help you avoid this trap.
- Don’t include registry information on your invitations
Years ago it was a given that guests would buy you a gift for your wedding. There has been a big shift in this over the last couple of decades. Many couples live together before marriage. This means that they have most things needed for their home. This has seen the introduction of a wedding registry to list the items you would like. This is a great idea as who wants 4 toasters and 3 kettles? The other option is a wishing well. This allows you to go and buy things you need or put it towards your honeymoon.
Giving wedding gifts should be the choice of your guests. Putting this information on your invites puts a little pressure on them to do something. This is especially the case if your registry is full of expensive items. A wishing well or similar is a great option as people can give anonymously. This also makes it much nicer for those that cannot afford to give much.
2. Don’t have too much time between ceremony and reception
Too many weddings have 4-6 hours between ceremony and reception. This can be a big problem for your guests.
Unless you are putting on canapes, games and drinks before the reception, consider timing. If you go to get your photos taken and will be a while, give your guests some entertainment.
- Don’t have too much of a distance between the ceremony and reception
Yes, you may have your heart set on a particular place for your ceremony and reception. Before committing, please consider your guests.
If there is quite a distance between the venues, look at putting on transportation.
If your guests are travelling a long way for the reception look at a location that has onsite accommodation or accommodation nearby.
- Don’t let your family pressure you in to inviting people
So old Auntie Beryl is Mum’s sister, but you haven’t seen her since you were 5yrs old. Mum wants you to invite her, but you do not feel it is necessary.
Weddings can be awfully expensive these days and gone are the times when Mum and Dad footed the bill. Only invite the family who are dear to you and close friends.
If you don’t feel that someone should get an invite, then don’t invite them. Don’t feel you have to invite family you haven’t seen in years, work colleagues etc. Remember, this is your day to do your way!
- Don’t try to do everything yourself
Wedding organising can be daunting. If you can’t afford a professional wedding planner, enlist people to help you. Your fiancé should be able to arrange some things, maybe with a little help from the Best Man and Groomsmen. Your Maid/Matron of Honour and Bridesmaids should also be there to help you with things you need done.
If you can afford a wedding planner, then do so as it will make the lead up to your wedding day so much more enjoyable. If you can’t afford a planner, maybe look at a stylist for your ceremony and reception if the venue doesn’t offer this.
- Don’t expect that your bridal party will know what, if anything you expect them to pay for
We so often see posts from brides asking what you should expect your bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay for.
Gone are the days when the Brides family paid for the whole wedding. So too has the Bride & Grooms family going halves in everything. These days the Bride and Groom often pay for the bulk of the wedding themselves.
As so many couples live together before their big day. We believe that this created the expectation that they can pay for their own day. Be clear about your expectations with your bridal party when you ask them to stand by you.
If you are expecting the girls to buy their own dresses, shoes and accessories and you will pay for hair and makeup, please let them know.
So often this is not mentioned until the time comes to shop, so be upfront. Some will need time to save the money.
If the girls are buying their own bridesmaid dresses, don’t expect them to pay hundreds for a dress if you know this will be difficult. There are some great shops around that have budget friendly bridesmaid dresses and we are one of them. Check out www.fmformalwear.com.au to see if we have something that can keep that budget in check.
- Don’t try to compete with someone else’s wedding
So, your friend or your foe got married and had all the bells and whistles. Do not try to compete!
Every wedding is different and what your friend thought was fabulous may not be right for you. Stick to your plans. If not you will have wedding regret after as it will be pretentious and not what you really wanted.
If you have a budget, then don’t blow it trying to outdo someone else.
The Top 7 Wedding Do’s
The Wedding Do’s are just as important. Self-care and keeping your sanity are the goals. Too many Brides and Grooms get stressed when arranging their wedding. Here are some tips to keep in mind and hopefully save your sanity.
- Look after yourself
Weddings can put so much pressure on you, with all that organising and so many decisions. Make sure you take some time out to unwind and relax or you will explode.
Go for a date night with your fiancé. G and see a movie or hang out with friends. Go for that facial you are always talking about. A nice Day Spa trip with the girls would be great too.
We all need some self-care at times and planning a wedding can be stressful. You need to look after you to ensure you can enjoy the day when it comes around.
- Get yourself a planner on organiser to help keep on top of it all
Invest in a wedding planning diary if you don’t have an actual wedding planner person in your corner. This will help you get organised and stay on top of what needs to be done and when.
If you are a pen and paper type of person, buy a wedding planning diary. You can keep it in your bag and carry with you. If you are computer savvy there are software options out there to help you plan your special day.
Here are some planners to check out:
Wedding Happy – has preloaded tasks and alerts when deadlines are looming. It’s like a wedding planning PA. You can also share your ‘event’ with others. It is a great tool for your bridal party and keeps everyone on the same page.
Trello – forget the notebook and use this organiser. It has a virtual pinboard to put your tasks in to. It is a drag and drop, so easy to move things around if they get pushed back or when you have completed them.
Wedding Planner by The Knot – this has everything you need to plan your special day, all in an app. You can put it on your phone and always have with you. It includes planning tools like checklists, a timeline, budget. It has a guest list manager too. You can make a wedding website directly from the app.
- Get your fiancé involved
No matter how controlling you like to be (it’s a girl thing) this is a day when the two of you become one. You need to share the load and have some input from your other half. If your soon to be is a hubby then get him to organise the guys outfits with his groomsmen. Give him some colour ideas but let him choose what he would like to wear. If your soon to be is a wife then let her choose what she would like to wear. Let her know what you would like to see her in just in case she has no idea where to start. To get some ideas you can look through our photo gallery for inspiration: FM Formal Wear Photo Gallery
- Stick to your budget
This is often the most difficult thing to do when planning a wedding.
The best way to tackle it is to get all of the big things out of the way first:
- Booking your ceremony
- Get your priest, minister or celebrant organised.
- Book your reception venue and work out how much it is going to cost per guest. You will then know how many people you can afford to invite.
These are the most important things as the most well-known venues do get booked up well in advance. Look around though and you are sure to find some hidden gems for your reception. There are so many beautiful places these days. Join some wedding Facebook groups and ask for recommendations if you aren’t sure. Other brides and brides to be are a great source of information.
Once you have these things out of the way:
- Book your photographer
- Book transportation
- Arrange your cake
- Book in a hair and make up artist if you are having one
- Get your rings ordered
After this you will know what you have left for the other things.
- Find your dress or at least have a budget to work within
- Find your bridesmaid dresses
If your bridesmaids and groomsmen are paying for their outfits then that’s all good. If you are paying, look at the budget and work out what you can afford per outfit and work with that.
- Organise your soon to be’s outfit
- Get the Groomsmen outfits
- Organise Flowers for the bridal party, ceremony and reception. Flowers can blow a budget very easily. You can possibly use your bouquets for the reception decorations. Your arbour flowers can be used on your bridal table. If you have flowers along the aisle chairs, they can double as table decorations. There are simple ways to save where flowers are concerned. Another idea is Flower Lapel Pins for the boys as these can look good, but are inexpensive.
- These are so easy to make yourself these days
- If the venue isn’t doing that for you
- If you are having them
If you are on a very tight budget look at areas that you can either cut back on or DIY. This doesn’t mean you have to do it all yourself. You can call on family and friends to help you. It would be more cost effective to do some of the things yourself than use a professional. It also gives you a sense of satisfaction when you can do things yourself.
I made my bridesmaid dresses and my own dried flower arrangements for my wedding many years ago. If I can do it, then I am sure you can too.
- Negotiate with vendors where you can
There will be some things where you can change a few things around or leave some things out. This can get that price down if it is out of your budget. Never be afraid to speak to your vendors and see what they can do. Don’t try to barter
with them on the price. Tell them what your budget is and ask if they can make some suggestions to keep to that budget. Good vendors will work with you where possible.
- Get some help if you don’t know where to start
There are also some awesome wedding Facebook pages. These are a great source of recommendations if you aren’t sure where to start. Some will have vendor posts on certain days of the week. There are also plenty of posts from other brides and grooms looking for help too. Join a few in your local area and share your knowledge whilst gaining some from others.
- Enjoy it!
For many this is a once in a lifetime event, so make sure you enjoy the planning and the actual day. Don’t forget to take a breath with your new hubby/wife when you get to the reception and soak it all up. There will be such a build up to the day and it will all rush by in a blur. Make sure you take that time to look around you and see what you have created.